Responding to a disclosure

How you respond to a disclosure is crucial to making a person feel safe, respected and in control.

It is important to ensure that the client does not feel blamed or responsible for the DFV, and hears the message that all people have the right to be and feel safe.

The following are examples of what you can say to acknowledge a disclosure:

• "I am sorry that that has happened to you."
  
• "It is not your fault that this is happening."
  
• "I will do what I can to help you."
  
• "You have the right to feel and be safe and I’m working with you and the people that I know to try to keep you safe."
  

The World Health Organisation framework 'LIVES' is a sound guide for responding to disclosures:

• LISTEN: Listen to the person closely with empathy

• INQUIRE: Assess and respond to their various needs and concerns - emotional, physical, social and practical

• VALIDATE: Show that you understand and believe the person. Assure them they are not to blame.

• ENHANCE SAFETY: Discuss a plan to enhance safety (including a warm referral to a specialist, if required)

• SUPPORT: Support them by helping connect to information, services and ongoing support.

To learn more about this framework in detail click here to watch the LIVES video series.

The LIVES framework also corresponds to the RAMF and the obligations of generalist services. The NT Government provides access to free Risk Assessment and Management Framework Workshops across the NT.

Regardless of their answer, remind them:

• That it is not OK 
• The only person responsible for the abuse is the abusive person 
• Make it clear that it is not their responsibility to stop the abuse 
• Tell them that the most important thing to you is keeping everyone safe 
  

Wrapping up the conversation

Remember: if someone isn’t ready or isn’t in a position to respond to your questions about DFV, respect this and let them know that if they are ready in the future to talk about any experience, you are open to doing this.

Wrapping up the conversation in a non-judgmental way is also really important, below are some things you can say:

• “If you ever want to talk about safety concerns, I’m always open to listening and helping” or;
  
• “It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk right now, if you ever do want to talk, I will listen and do what I can to help”

The LIVES framework final step 'support', is not only about the victim-survivor. Professional support and safety for workers is essential to effective DFV risk assessment and management. For details on local services who support professionals, see the find help map or use the national helplines below. 

What if they don't want to talk?

Let it go for now, but let them know you are there for them to talk to whenever they want. Open conversations may come about slowly over time.

It’s important not to use a rejection as a reason to avoid talking altogether. You may want to try again in a week or two.

You may want to say something like "Hey, remember the other week when I spoke to you about [person’s] behaviour? You didn’t really want to talk, but I wanted to check if you’ve felt like talking since then?"

Again, let them know that you are always there to talk to, now or in the future if they ever change their mind.

To request further training on 'Identifying and Responding to Family Violence' for your organisation, please contact CAWLS.